5/9/2008 6:19:53 PM
I'd stimulate it if I could...
Yesterday Danny and I had President Truman to thank for a paid vacation day. I've never heard of anyone celebrating his birthday, but I'll take it.
After hitting up Racanelli's and Jilly's Cupcake Bar* we headed back to his place for some major disappointment. I was expecting to stimulate the economy sometime this week, but it turns out that I might have to wait a month for a stupid paper check. Since we both used TurboTax and did direct debit rather than printing/mailing the form to the IRS for direct deposit, we have to wait for the checks. According to the schedule I shouldn't get mine until the middle of June, which is a month longer than I expected. Sure, it's kind of like free, unexpected money, but I was still counting on it.
Anywho, my serious lack of funds lately has greatly influenced my apartment hunt. Our lease ends June 30th and I've been stressed out since early April trying to find the best place to live. Danny has to live all the way in Florissant so I was hoping to move somewhere central like U City or Clayton, but everything is either too expensive or available too early thanks to the high density of college students. In the end, I decided to rent from my dad in South City. Yes, it's the opposite end of the city from Danny, but I'll be closer to work and most of our drive to see each other will be straight highway, no hwy 40 either, so it actually shouldn't take much longer than it does from my current house in Kirkwood. At least according to Google maps.
The plus side of renting from my dad is that I won't have to sign a lease, so I can move at a later time when I haven't been stressed to the point where my eye is twitching for weeks on end (I think we're looking at week three here). Also, I just really like the apartments. Dad owns a couple of four-family flats and he has rehabbed both of them. Both buildings still have the original fireplace/mantle/mirror setup so those look really nice even though the fireplaces haven't been in use for decades. He has redone the hardwood floors to gleaming perfection, and he pays a lot of attention to detail such as keeping the original molding and pocket doors. Plus, the bathroom has a claw-foot tub which is definitely my style. The current tenant in my future unit should be moving by the end of this month I believe, so unless she changes her mind and stays, this will be where I'm headed.
I can't believe I'm going to be living completely on my own for the first time in my life. It's going to be very, very strange.
*Ok, if you haven't been to Jilly's Cupcake Bar at Delmar and 170, you really need to check it out. The cupcakes are huge (I had to take half of mine home with me) and they have a bunch of tasty, creative combinations. Danny had a lemon/raspberry cupcake with raspberry filling and buttercream frosting flavored with either raspberry or lemon or both. I had one called "Jilly's on the Beach" which was vanilla cake, key lime custard filling, and mango buttercream frosting. Simply amazing. Go check it out!
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3/31/2008 10:17:05 PM
Sweet sebaceous gland! What's that under your arm!?
So, I really did want to write up a recap of events from Austin, but now the moment has passed and I just don't feel up to it. I do want to share the title of that post though. It was going to be, SXSW: Festival of Beards and Boots. That pretty much sums up the general look that all the "hipsters" were shooting for. All the dudes had scraggly beards and all the girls were wearing some sort of boot. It didn't matter what the rest of their outfit looked like, as long as you were wearing a boot you were automatically one of the cool kids, therefore, I was not. But I'm ok with that because I don't think St. Louis could handle me in cowboy boots.
This weekend was pretty good. I went to the Way Out Club with my sister to see her friend's band play and by the end of the night the passenger side of my car (inside AND out) was covered in puke. That wasn't really a highlight of the night, but at least now I have a "That Time Someone Puked In My Car" story.
Saturday was probably the best because I had a baby shower to attend at 1pm and a bachelorette party that started later that evening around dinner time. And no, they were not for the same woman. :) My friends mother-in-law went all out for the baby shower with a full on tea party theme. There were dainty, crustless sammiches, English style cookies, fancy china, and any kind of tea you could imagine. I spoke with an aunt of hers who told me about how she delivered via home birth and how her doctor was great because he had fingers like forceps. Both her daughter (the one delivered by Dr. Forceps) and I cringed at that one. A little graphic, but interesting and informative nonetheless.
That night I spent entirely too much money, but all of us girls had a nice drunken time. We met up at the hotel room that some of them had booked downtown for pre-drinking and then headed to the Landing. I wasn't expecting much from this choice, but I was pleasantly surprised. We went to Morgan Street Brewery and we all had a really good time dancing, drinking, and rescuing each other from sleazy guys that would creep up behind us and start dancing. It's a little gross when they come up behind you like that, but at least that way the guy can't see my face when I grab the arm of my nearest friend and mouth, "HELP ME!" which is that friend's cue to cut in as if they all couldn't dance without my presence. It's a nice little system.
Today I called in sick because I was planning on being productive and getting stuff done so that I could renew my plates, but that plan fell to shambles after my car didn't pass inspection. I hate my car and just want it to go away and be magically replaced by a car that was made after 2000. Besides that, I really do have an annoying health issue right now that has gotten worse over the weekend, so I was able to make a doctors appointment for Wednesday. I've got some crazy cyst/clogged sebaceous gland under my arm that is swelling at a rapid pace. Luckily I already have a dermatologist and luckily he happened to have an opening this week. The next available date was in May! I'm going to be glad to get this taken care of, but I am not excited about crying in front of a 50-something year-old man, because I can guarantee you that I'll start crying the second I see a needle. That's just how I roll.
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3/17/2008 8:57:28 PM
3/10/2008 7:24:54 PM
Bye bye Griffin
I know it's already been over a week since this happened, but I felt like I couldn't get back to writing anything normal until I mention the sad events of this year's Leap Year. I was at work, waiting for the weekend to begin when I got a call from my roommate saying that Griffin had gotten out of the yard again. My first reaction was to sigh in mock annoyance because this would be the third or fourth time that he's done that. But then everything changed when she said, "No, it's worse than that."
My poor, sweet puppy was hit by a car... right in front of my house. We live on a fairly busy street in Kirkwood that a lot of people use instead of taking N. Kirkwood Rd. to bypass the downtown area, so of course there were a lot of people out and about at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon. When Julie and Kristen walked across the street towards the crowd that had already grown around him they talked to a neighbor guy who was watching over him, the lady who hit him (and thankfully was kind enough to stop even though there was nothing she could do) and a neighbor family whose little girl saw the whole thing happen. They took him to the Webster Groves Animal Hospital and that's where I met them.
Ugh, it was just really, really sad. He seemed okay thanks to the effects of shock and good pain killers, but his back legs were broken, his spleen and bladder were ruptured, and he had a massive blood clot developing in his stomach area. After talking to the vet and looking over the x-rays I went home for a bit to calm down (I had been bawling nearly the whole time I was there) so that I could decide what to do. Unfortunately, I came to the conclusion that it would be best to put him to sleep. Seriously, it was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my whole life.
I always knew that someday I'd have a pet that would have to be put down, but I always assumed that that would be in a case where the dog was old and ready to go. It seemed incredibly wrong to be in a position where you put a young, vibrant animal to death. The whole ordeal has made me feel terrible. I know he was in a lot of pain and would have had to go through a lot of surgeries that didn't come with any guarantees, but I still wonder if I did the right thing. Now I have the bitter feeling that in order to be a truly responsible pet owner you need to have at least ten thousand dollars lying around in case of emergencies, but I know I'm not the only one out there that doesn't have that option.
So, after I had calmed down I went back up to the hospital to sign all the papers and say goodbye. Thank God Danny was with me because I don't know if I could have handled that on my own. I knew I couldn't bear to be there when they actually put him to sleep, but I did want to go back there one more time to pat his head and give him a kiss. I was selfishly relieved that they had him on so many pain killers because if I saw him writhing in pain I think I would have lost it. That wasn't a worry though because the most the poor guy was able to do was sleepily open up his eyes and lift his head a little bit to look at me. I stayed there with him for a little bit just talking to him and watching him breathe before I felt that it was time to go. It still breaks my heart (and makes me cry even as I type this) to remember how when I walked away I looked back at him and I saw him watching me leave. But even then he closed his eyes again, as if he was either too exhausted to keep his eyes open or resigned to the fact that his time was up.
I got a card today in the mail from the vet at WGAH who took care of him and I thought that was really sweet. Even though my last visit there was for the worst reason possible, I can at least take comfort knowing that they did a really great job. I definitely plan on making a donation to them and maybe also to the Humane Society where I bought him.
Someday I'll get another dog, but it probably won't be for a while.
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2/26/2008 9:39:46 PM
weekend of the two minute, 8 dollar taxi ride
The weekend was pretty good. I hung out with Nathan and Leah at their new place on Friday where we spent most of our time playing "Wise or Otherwise". It's pretty much like Balderdash except all the statements begin with something like, "There's an old Danish saying that when the butcher is out of meat..." and you have to complete the sentence with something convincing enough that everyone thinks your answer is correct. Well, the ends of these statements were all so crazy that after a while it was just more fun to see who could come up with the most ridiculous answer. I think the end of my example phrase was something like "... bacon and eggs are just as good." What? Isn't bacon a meat? I think even the guys answers involving their private parts were better than that. Anyway, it was a good time.
Saturday I had double friend duty. A house party in Wentzville/O'Fallon, followed by Michael's birthday drunkenness in the Loop, specifically Cicero's and the Pin-Up Bowl. Probably my favorite part of the evening was sitting in the little lounge area at the Pin-Up watching this guy through the window.
He spent the majority of the night dancing there right outside the window and trying to get the attention of people both inside and out. Right after I took this picture he kept pointing at me and shouting something (I think). I would have taken a picture of that, but I didn't want to egg him on anymore than I already had.
Once outside, Sarah took this picture of us that I think is pretty good. We had my camera on the snow setting so it was able to capture the snowflakes as they fell.
Aw... pretty. Although, I wish the pictures didn't look so grainy when I size them smaller. How do I fix that anyway? Do I just use a smaller resolution when I take them in the first place? The original takes up most of the monitor I think.
Good times were had by all, and it was back to work yesterday. I dislike my job more and more by the day, and yet I just found out that I got "Successful" on my rating. Too bad that doesn't mean that I get a raise. If I knew a good rating meant better pay I'd probably work so hard that they'd have to create a category called "Super Awesome" just for me. But no. If The Man is content with what he's paying me, then I'm content with spending a large part of my day trying to keep my head off of my desk. Whatev.
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2/21/2008 10:36:05 PM
It's entirely too cold in my house
I'm so sick of the cold. I usually say that I like winter, but what I really mean by that is that I like Christmas and snow for the first couple of times. To me, there is no point in it being cold if there's no snow. And even then, I get sick of it. So yeah, I'm ready for spring.
Since the warm weather can't come to St. Louis fast enough, Danny (the boyfriend) and I are heading south. In March we're taking a road trip to Austin, TX for SXSW. I'm excited about this trip for so many reasons. Not only will I get to see a ton of really great bands, but it will be warm, I'll be outside a lot without bundling up, there will be drinking, there will be hotels, there will be hotels and drinking, and best of all, Danny and I will finally be going on a roadtrip together. Since we met we've talked about how much we love roadtrips and always planned on doing one together. Seven months later and we'll finally be doing it.
We decided not to buy the wristbands and just pay the cover at whichever bars we manage to get into. Having the $180 wristband doesn't guarantee that you get in, it just means you prepaid, and since I don't see us spending more than $180 in cover charges it seems like a better idea to not get one. Plus, this way I won't feel so bad if we decide to skip down to San Antonio for a night. I went there in high school for a band trip and fell in love with the city, but I knew it would be much more enjoyable when I was over 21 and not being chaperoned by crazy band parents. Even if we don't make it down there, this trip is still going to rock my face off!
And speaking of trips, as I sit here typing with fingers so cold they feel arthritic, Danny is on his way to Florida with two of his friends. Needless to say, I'm a tad jealous. I think he said it's only going to be in the 50'-70's down there, but that's still a million times better than this. He'll wake up with warm sun on his face, and I'll wake up to scrape the shield of ice off of my car. Wahoo! Besides being jealous, I'm really going to miss the guy. We've spent the greater part of every weekend for the last couple of months together, so it's going to be strange to not have him around. But hey, it's just for the weekend so I think we'll both make it.
I feel like after my last post about our relationship I need to be more complimentary towards him, especially since he found this blog a while ago (thank you Google) and reads it from time to time. I don't feel the need to go into all the mushy details, but things with him are just really, really good. There may have been a rocky start that bothers me when I think about it, but everything about us in the here and now is wonderful. We compliment each other very well and so far I have no complaints. I could go on and on about how wonderful he is and how I like to call him Dantastic when I think I'm being funny (because it's really not that funny, is it?) but I don't need to go into all of that.
So far that's the interesting thing about how I feel in this relationship. In the past I think the first thing I would have done after starting a relationship was to come here and write out every last detail of every rose-tinted moment spent together, but this time around I just feel like keeping my lovely love thoughts a little more to myself. And even though we haven't had a really big fight yet, I don't want to end up putting all of that out here either. At least not in the same manner that I did with Adam. That shit just got a leetle too crazy sometimes. I guess I feel like I've got it really, really good this time and I don't want to screw it up or tempt fate by letting my emotions get away from me. After two plus years of being single, I want to savor and appreciate everything that's going on with him. Anyway, I'm in a happy place right now and that should be all anyone needs to know.
But I don't know, I think right now I would almost be willing to trade my happy place for a warm place... looks like I'll be using the space heater tonight! Damn drafty old house.
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2/3/2008 11:06:09 PM
party
A week ago Sarah tagged me for a survey, but I refuse to do it! Sorry Sarah, but it was kind of a dumb one. I believe it was something about listing 5 things you don't know about me. I never know how to answer those questions because either you already know pretty much everything, or if you don't, there's probably a good reason. Or I could just throw out silly stuff like how I prefer ketchup from a packet than from a bottle.
Today I was super productive and did stuff around the house, went shopping, and gave the dog a bath. I've only given Griffin a bath inside a couple of times, but I swear he knew what was coming! It was kind of sad and pathetic how he would stick his tail between his legs and shiver while I dumped water over him, but I didn't feel bad for too long. He looks, feels, and smells ten times better now!
Tomorrow I'm hoping to wake up early and go to the gym before work. This feat requires me to wake up at 5:30 and if you are familiar with my sleeping patterns, you know this will not be an easy thing to do. But really, it would be so much better if I could work out in the mornings instead of the evenings. By the time I get home from work it's already 5:45 or 6 and at that point I just want to sit down for a while and figure out what's for dinner. And then if I go too late it makes me too energized to fall asleep at a reasonable time. A reasonable time for bed would have been about a half an hour ago, so hopefully I'll do better tomorrow.
Over the weekend people were celebrating Mardi Gras and the Super Bowl. I did not participate in either. I'm not opposed to it, it's just nothing seemed appealing for either this year. I was actually in the Benton Park area on Saturday for lunch and it took me a while to realize why so many people were walking around. I've never been huge into football and usually only watch the Super Bowl for the parties and the commercials, but I had already dedicated today to the aforementioned domestic duties, so I never got around to turning the tv on for that either. And no, just because I didn't get all festive doesn't mean that this 25 year old is turning into an old lady.
Alright, time for bed... I wouldn't place any bets on me making it to the gym tomorrow.
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1/24/2008 12:33:19 AM
honest to blog
As always, I should write more. And actually, there have been many "blog worthy" moments in my life lately, but I never seem to get around to writing it all down. My regular journal gets to see some of it, but most of my thoughts are emptied from my brain to paper during work when I just can't do anymore casework.
A big reason that I haven't put any of those thoughts here is due to the fact that most of what's been going on has been a whole lot of adult-type situations that I've never found myself in before. And by adult, I pretty much mean, more fucked up than your average kid finds herself in. I don't know, maybe the average kid these days deals with more than I did, but this just seems like crazy soap opera dramatics. Also, I'd hate to air all of my personal grievances here just to have people comment on how stupid I am. Because, I know I'm probably stupid, but sometimes that just can't be avoided.
Of course, it all has to do with a guy. The same guy that has been hovering around the edges of my life (and vice versa) for months now. It's really flippin' scary to realize how little you can know about a person. It's scary that you find out new things every day and while that should be and is fun to discover, sometimes what you find is just hard to deal with.
I think I'm frightened of relationships. It's weird because you go for over two years being single and thinking of how much you want to be with someone, but you conveniently forget how being with someone means more than just dinner and a movie. It means accepting things you might not have thought yourself capable of accepting, and putting trust in a near strangers hands, hoping that this amazing person stays amazing enough to not screw it all up.
I surprise myself at the bitter thoughts that pop into my head when I'm with this guy. He's incredibly sweet and will say things that he likes about me, and to certain statements my immediate thought is, "Yeah, you think that's cute now. Just give it a couple of months until you can't stand it and it turns into a monstrous, soul-crushing argument." See, that's not a nice thing to think. Why am I bracing myself for the worst like this? It would be so nice if the beginnings weren't such a process. I'm sick of things being mixed up and while most issues have been settled, he still has baggage that lingers. Things are improving by the day, but I just want to get to that phase where you really feel like everything is solid. I want certain things to be, but I can't demand that everything happens on my time line, so I wait. Patience is a virtue and all that jazz. I think I should be sainted after all the patience I've maintained for nearly half a year.
Anyway, I'm sure the two people that read this will just love to see me moaning vaguely about the new dude in my life, but I really want to write more frequently and I feel like I can't do that without putting up an accurate portrayal of what's going on right now. That's how I've always been with journals too. I'll go for months without writing and when I pick it up again, I feel the need to recap every mundane detail before moving forward. Someday I'll really have to burn those journals.
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